Do you know where your power comes from?
First, though, I suppose I should clarify: I’m not talking about your electricity, and no, I don’t think my readers are superheroes. I’m talking about the power that enables you to walk through this world with confidence, with your head held high, secure in the belief that you belong. That force that enables you to take risks– to take chances — and to know with all your heart that, despite the outcome, you are good enough. The power I’m talking about is that inner fire inside of you that keeps you moving forward even when it seems like everything else is trying to hold you back. That power.
On second thought, maybe it is a superpower.
Do you have it? And if so, where do you get it?
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and here’s my working theory: I think we all have this power or else we wouldn’t be able to function, but I believe it comes in varying strengths. I think some of us are born with it, but many more of us have to work for it.
Big surprise — I’m one of the ones who has to work for it. And I work hard. Sometimes, when I can’t seem to muster up the strength to make some of my own, I seek for help from other people. This might seem innocent enough until you really examine what I’ve said. I look to other people to communicate to me that I’m good enough. This is dangerous. It puts my fate in other people’s hands, people who I may not even like or know. I scan the looks on their faces as they pass by, taking their response to me as a judgment. She smiled? “Oh, good! I’m okay! She likes me!” He scowled disapprovingly? “Oh shit! He thinks I’m ugly! I’m worthless!” (I’m exaggerating a bit here, but you get the point). Ultimately, I’m allowing other people to determine the course of my day based on my interpretation of their reaction to me. I might as well be playing with fire.
In reality, whatever I’m seeing may not even be their reaction to me. For all I know they had a crappy day at work and are stewing about their boss. And even if they were thinking whatever it is I think they’re thinking, so the fuck what? That’s on them. I mean think about it — if I post a picture up here of my dog, and ask everyone who reads this to vote on whether she’s cute or not, does that really tell me if she’s cute? No. It tells me what you think is cute. That’s all.
So I’m taking back my power people. Sorry. You can’t have it anymore. I don’t need you to tell me I’m good enough because I know I’m good enough. I believe that. I may have to work a little harder on some days to remember it than others, but I know that inside, where it really matters, I. Am. Good Enough.
Where will you get your power from today?