Empty Life

I’m taking a poetry class right now, and I’m finding I don’t have many powerful events from my life to write about. Sadly, much of my life has been consumed by an eating disorder, which I guess is a powerful event all its own. Understandably, much of my poetry focuses on it, the feelings its brought up, and its effect on me and my life. Here is one of those poems.

The Dance

Music blares from the unseen speakers,

Some artist I don’t know

Screaming words I can’t understand.

I have a feeling I’ve been here before

In a dream, perhaps

naked

Like I feel now

eyes piercing my sallow skin

stares I read like Tarot cards.

The track stops. Conversations don’t.

The speakers slow

to realize there’s no need to shout.

Secrets no longer secret

Camouflage destroyed.

Someone starts it up again

but too late.

The damage is done.

They know

They all know.

Ed asks me to dance

and I gladly oblige.

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2 thoughts on “Empty Life

  1. Wow. I totally understand feeling like your life has no major events, other than being consumed by an eating disorder. And I love your poetry – camouflage destroyed… Ed asking you to dance… it all resonates with me. Please don’t lose hope! Eating disorders are a huge pain in the ass, but don’t let it trick you into thinking you don’t deserve better, or worse – that you aren’t strong enough to get through it. It’s a hard road and setbacks are sure to happen, but you are worth it.

    • Thank you so much for your comment! I was going to say I’m glad you can relate to what I’ve written, but then I realized I’m actually not, because that’s like saying I’m glad you’ve suffered too! But I think you know what I mean ;p
      Thanks for the encouragement too — this was written more in a sense of looking back than of where I am right now. Although I do still dance with Ed on occasion, it’s much less often and for much shorter amounts of time. Like you said in your latest post — Progress, not perfection — and one day soon enough, I won’t dance with him at all 🙂

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